Sock it to me

2 Mar

What is written here is a factual tale of what really and truly happened in my house. At this, clearly my shining-est hour, I am grateful that you all know me as Miss Lox. ‘Nuff said.

Mr. Lox and I have been ummmm… *disagreeing*… over socks. Yes, socks. You read it right. Now stop laughing and keep reading.

It all started when I realized that I am killing myself doing internet research for a few last items I would like for the wedding. They were, in priority order: a photo sharing site, socks, and an umbrella for Mr. Lox. And I thought to myself “Self? Who is great at internet research and has completed their one and only wedding DIY project?” And myself answered back “Why Mr. Lox, of course!” So I decided to ask Mr. Lox to help me with these three tasks. (PS – Indication #1 that you are losing it? Talking to yourself. Take note.)

I asked once, he said , “Of course!” A few days went by. I asked twice, he said, “Certainly!” A few more days went by. I asked three times, he said, “Sure!” Yet another handful of days passed here. The fourth time, cue the disagreement. I don’t have to tell most of you what kind of insanity can ensue at roughly two months until the wedding, so we’ll gloss over the rest of this bit here.

So Mr. Lox was on the hunt. He found the photo sharing site that night. We’ll discuss that another day. Then he went on the sock hunt. Now here is a little known fact… pink and orange argyle socks for men do not exist. Or if they do, they are in an alternate universe somewhere and alternate universe me is looking high and low for white tube socks. I don’t know. I just know I can’t find them and neither can Mr. Lox. No, not even on that golf knickers site.

So Mr. Lox suggested solid orange. I reminded him (in a way that will only really happen after roughly four requests and roughly two months before your wedding) that I had specified argyle or at the very least patterned socks. (I know I didn’t write that in up there, but I did it. Trust me.) Mr. Lox then sent me to that golf knickers site because they have so many socks surely I must like at least *one* pair!

In Mr. Lox’s defense, they do have an awful lot of colors…

A Rainbow of Argyle Socks

Click for source

I fussed. We…. *disagreed*… some more. Then this happened:

Mr. Lox: I like the solid orange and these are going on my feet! Don’t I get a say in this?
Me: NO!
Mr. Lox: Why does it matter anyway?
Me: BECAUSE IT MATTERS TO ME!
Mr. Lox: No one is going to see my socks!!! It’s not like they’ll be in pictures!
Me: YES THEY WILL!
Mr. Lox: HOW???
(Take a moment to appreciate that he took so much longer to degenerate to all caps than I did… and continue.)
Me: BECAUSE I’M GOING TO ASK FOR A PICTURE OF THEM!

With that, my poor beloved Mr. Lox realized that he was up against utter, roughly-two-months-from-our-wedding insanity and continuing this… *disagreement*… would lead nowhere. So he left me to fume and search for socks once again on the internet.

On the upshot, I bought a pair of socks that night. They are what I thought was orange and yellow at the time but may in fact be orange and light green. I can answer conclusively on Friday. Now can we please not tell Mr. Lox that I think they are lady socks?

Have you gone over the deep end over something silly only to realize it halfway into the abyss? Please tell me about it and make me feel better. After all, it can’t be as insane as this sock… *disagreement*… .

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