To do or not to do

So, with roughly four and a half months left until the wedding, I am starting that not-so-slow slide into panic over my To Do list. Actually, if I’m totally honest with you? I’ve been trying to avoid the panic by avoiding the list. Somehow I think this is not the best of strategies.

So today, I am getting real with myself. And apparently in order to have this little moment with myself, I need to be accountable to the hive. And so it goes. Remember this little guy?

It looks so sweet and innocent here... You can click on that to see it larger and appreciate the full on horror of it.

Right. That’s just a giant pile of uh-oh at four and a half months out. Hive, how did I let this happen?

To be fair, a few things have changed. I have completed close to 150 of the mini paper lanterns. The STD envelopes are totally finished and have already reached their final destinations. And I added and then completed the photo hunt cards. Unfortunately, I also added the photo sharing cards and the table numbers.

The rest? Looks exactly the same. And some of those things I don’t even have good ideas for! For example, I was dead set on making coffee filter roses to give to our mothers. That way they could keep the flowers we hand them forever and ever. And to be honest, I totally sat down and made little templates for all of the petals and then did two trial runs. And, well, they were okay. Just okay.

All of this is to say that I’m starting to feel overwhelmed. I’m sure there must be a few shortcuts I can take in there somewhere, but I’ll be darned if I’ve figured out where yet! Anyone out there have some awesome ideas to dig me out of this ever-growing DIY hole I’m in?

Has your To Do list ever overwhelmed you? If so, how did you handle it? And if not, how did you keep that from happening?

Ringing in the new year!

Today we shall be talking about rings. I will tell you in advance, that this is a topic which has brought me no end of stress. I know exactly (and I do mean *exactly*) what I want Mr. Lox to put on my finger. However Mr. Lox has really had no earthly idea of what I should be putting on his. Here is an actual conversation that took place just this month:

Me: We really should go wedding band shopping for you. Because it might not be easy seeing as you have no idea what you want.

Him: I know what I want.

Me: Yeah? What?

Him: No bling, white metal.

Me: You just described hundreds of rings. Is that the best you’ve got?

Him: *blink*

And so it was that we went shopping. All was going well for my pocketbook until Mr. Lox spotted men’s Tacori wedding bands. Did you know Tacori made wedding bands for men? I totally did NOT. But I knew what it meant for my pocketbook. And yet, there wasn’t a darn thing I could do about it. I’ve always promised Mr. Lox he could have whatever he wanted since this is the ring he will have to wear for the rest of his life. And this is the ring he ended up choosing:

That doesn't look very fancy does it? It's white gold, brushed in the center with bezeled edges. I bet you're wondering what makes this Tacori, or even what makes it expensive at all?

Right, I know that seems unassuming. I know it does. But here’s a shot of the ring not on his finger. And no, my man does not have girly hands… I’m actually holding his ring here.

There's the famous Tacori detailing. If you look closely you will see a scalloped edge and the famous Tacori milgrain.

If you’re now scratching your head and pointing out that all the detailing is on the *inside* of this ring, you’re right. Yes, this means that while he’s wearing it, every day of his life, no one will have any idea how fancy and awesome his ring is. No, I did not point this out to him. He wanted it so he got it. End of story.

The ring in the pictures is actually the display model. We ordered a brand spanking new one just for him that will arrive about 5 weeks from the order date. Then I will probably hide it from him so he doesn’t wear through the rhodium plating by playing with it before the big day.

Did your man pick a detailed ring? How about an oddly expensive one? Or has your guy not yet decided what will be on his finger?

I get to blame all of these pictures on Mr. Lox. But they are personal nonetheless.

Big Buddy

Every year at Christmas, I think about Frank. Usually, it’s right around the time I turn on the Christmas music and hear Mannheim Steamroller. Christmas was Frank’s favorite holiday and that was his very favorite Christmas music.

This year it is bittersweet x2. You see, in June of last year my father and I had a falling out. We no longer speak and probably never will again. It’s a long story that I will summarize by saying this: He was behaving very badly and didn’t like being called on it. He would rather lose his only child than apologize for treating her very badly. I simply obliged his decision. End of story.

So it was that yesterday morning, as I was driving to work with Christmas music on the stereo, Mannheim Steamroller came on and I thought of Frank. And I realized that if he were here now, today, I would have already asked him to walk with me down the aisle at my wedding. Not to give me away but to give me his love and support. And to be the father figure unlike any I ever had. And I cried.

I don’t have any good pictures I can really post of Frank and I. They are all in boxes or in frames in printed form. So instead of a pretty picture, today I’ll leave you with a journal entry I wrote 5 years ago, on the first anniversary of his passing. I love him every bit as much today as I did then. And I always will.

12-16-05 – 9:25 p.m.

Last night my mother and I battled the nasty ice storm to go to a Mannheim Steamroller concert. We had these amazing seats where we could see everything… even the expressions on their faces. We got totally geeked out and probably loved it way too much. And as we sat there and listened to those Christmas songs, we thought of Frank.

Frank was my mother’s husband for 20 years, and my step-father. I used to call him my “Big Buddy”. I don’t remember why. He was opinionated, difficult, and often completely tactless. He also loved me in a way that no man has ever loved me before. He was a father figure completely different from my own Dad, and he filled a spot in my life that I didn’t even know existed until he came along. He accepted me as his own daughter and always treated me as such. And he loved my mother completely. He also died one year ago today.

Frank loved Mannheim Steamroller, which was totally out of character for him. Until his love for them, he was strictly a banjo and guitar kind of guy. We couldn’t believe how much he loved their music. He always wanted to see them in concert, but they don’t come around very often and he never quite made it. Frank also loved Christmas. His two loves were perfectly met in every Christmas album Mannheim Steamroller produced. Every Christmas he would pull out their CDs and play them non-stop in his car for us. He would pause the songs when he felt there was something particularly spectacular about them. “Listen to that chord!” “Did you hear that?”

He got really difficult as he got older. Frank had dementia and was on a quick downhill slide into Alzheimer’s. His independence was his pride, and so he didn’t take the illness very well. He had a host of other physical issues which slowly ate away at him. For a retired cop, this was pure torture. So he got more and more difficult as he had a harder and harder time dealing with it. And, as time wore on, he became less and less aware of how difficult, and often mean, he could be.

But even through all of that, he loved me. Even as his health got progressively worse, he made sure he was there when I needed him. Frank was the kind of father figure who couldn’t stand to see his little girl get hurt. No one was ever good enough for me, and I could do no wrong. I’ll never be half the woman I was in Frank’s eyes.

So last night we watched Mannheim Steamroller perform and we thought of Frank. As I listened to “Deck the Halls”, I had a perfect picture of him pointing at the car stereo and asking me “Doesn’t it sound just like the Electric Light Parade?” It does. And I cried.

I miss you, Big Buddy. Merry Christmas.

A Hairy Dilemma

So last time I promised we’d talk about my wedding day hair plans. So here we are.

Very early in my wedding planning, I ran across a hair picture I feel in mad hairy love with. It was this one:

I have been in love with this since I first saw it. Click for source.

The thing is, the girl in the picture has straight straight hair. Her straight hair was curled and then styled to make this happen. So I always figured I would dry mine straight and then my stylist would curl it and make this happen.

Unfortunately, my stylist says it would be best to create something like this using my natural curl. she had some very good stylist type reason why straightening it then curling that was wrong. I usually just do whatever she says so I agreed. At first.

Except now I’m remembering how much I hate my curls. And Mr. Lox hates my curls. And so having curls on my wedding day is not my best idea. But also, I need my hair to be soft around my face. There’s nothing worse than a fat face and a severe hairdo!

So it is that I have no stinking idea what I’m going to do now. Any suggestions?

Let’s talk about hair, baby

Yep, it’s time to get real here. Let’s talk about hair.

By this point, I have shared more than a few pictures of me with all of you. From them you can see that I have medium to longish red hair. What you can’t see is that the only part of that description that is actually mine in nature is the length. And I’ve been growing it out for an insane amount of time. The rest of it? I either pay for or work quite hard for. In the case of the color, I know to leave it to the professionals. However, I have spent 33 years learning how to make my hair straight. Unfortunately, the fact you might believe it’s straight at all, is just that experience tricking your eyes.

You might remember my hair looking like this:

Okay, so it's not perfectly straight because this was taken in the summer. But it is fairly straight here, right?

(PS – It’s well past my shoulders in the back. Those are my shorter layers curling up around my shoulders in this picture.)

Yep, that was a pretty good hair day. Unfortunately, my hair actually looks more like this:

I let my hairdresser take a break and not straighten my hair today.

Right, so first I have to say I am rockin’ some awesome flannel jammies on a Friday night. Yep, that’s just how I roll.

Now back to the hair. That is not some super secret feat of styling. Neither is it crazy magic product. No no, my hair is just really that curly. The only part you may credit to my stylist’s hard work is the awesome shade of red. (Which is rather unclear in these pictures. Trust me, it’s hot.) For the record, while the curl is all mine, the color is naturally blonde. But you already knew that.

What does my insane (and slightly less than attractive) curly hair have to do with my wedding? Oh come on, how could it not have anything to do with it? This nonsense has to be professionally styled for the day! Before today, I had let my stylist convince me that the kind of hairstyle I want was best achieved by leaving my hair in its natural state and going from there. Until today, when I let her remind me of exactly how much I HATE my curls. Now, now I realize I have to go back to square one. This is seriously not going to work for me. At all.

For the record, I asked Mr. Lox if he liked my hair curly. He made a very sad face (because he is not the type to criticize my appearance at all) and shook his head.

So I’m going to need help with my wedding day hair. We can talk about what I thought I wanted when we next meet. And by that I mean, in my next post.

Is your hair all natural, or do you fight with nature? How does that affect your wedding day hair choices?

Tiny Little Paper Balls

(It totally sounds dirty to me too.)

The good news about having ongoing wedding DIY projects is that I can talk about what we’re doing even when we’re very busy not doing it! Hooray all around, right? Right.

So way back in August, I talked about these cute little paper balls.It’s been a while… go ahead and look. I’ll wait.

Back now? Good. So Mr. Lox and I loved them. And I immediately thought of making garlands of them and putting little LED lights inside of them to make them glow. That was back when our wedding was going to be inside a restaurant. Now the wedding is going to be outdoor on a Sunday afternoon. So what does that mean? It means I can still have my garlands but I can save money by not putting the lights in them! Win!

So let’s see what I’ve done so far. Here is a tiny sample of some of the little paper balls I’ve made.

I mean come on, how cute are these?

Then I realized I had two problems. First of all they take up a lot of space and I need literally hundreds of these. Second, they are paper. Which means unless they’re stored carefully they will crush up and be useless. What on earth was I going to do?

(This is the part where you refrain from telling me that the tutorial I used totally tells you how to store and even ship them. Instead, you need to pretend I came up with this next idea all on my own.) Suddenly, I knew exactly what to do! Just don’t fluff them into little balls! Which leaves me with very storage friendly final products.

This is but a tiny selection of the paper I used. Who knew these could turn into adorable little teeny lantern things?

Now I have made about 130 of these things. Since August. Yep, that’s just the kind of slacker I am. I have no clue how many I need, but I think it’s way more than 130. I  intend to line the inside of the pavilion where our reception is being held with garlands on these little guys. So I’m thinking…. yeah, a ton more. Anyone want to come over and make tiny paper balls with me?

This is what roughly 130 of them look like in a plastic freezer bag.

Did you have any projects that ended up being much larger than you had originally thought?

All pictures in this post are courtesy of moi.

Blam!

Have you ever just hit a wedding wall?

I figure a wedding wall has to be prettier than a plain old brick wall. I mean, right? Anyway, click for source.

I mean like, *blam!* into the wall. There are tons of things I know I need to do. I’ve made spreadsheets of them. I’ve quantified them. I’ve even blogged about them. And I know exactly how to acheive most of them. However, I see to have crashed right into this inconvenient wall that is preventing me from doing any of them.

I’m unsure whether I should blame the holidays (when this all started) or just general inertia. All I know is that I am acheiving absolutely nothing that needs to be done for this wedding. I’ve found new things to buy for it (more on that later). I’ve had no issue talking about.  But about five months out from the big event, here I am… sitting on my butt being useless.

I have, however, had absolutely no problem with scrapbooking, making cards, or (back when this all began) doing tasks like holiday baking and card sending. So lazy I am not. But wedding lazy, I am!

So I ask again, have you ever hit a wedding wall?

Something’s missing…

So if you’ve been following along for a while, you might have noticed something. I mean, you might not have too. I’ve never drawn attention to this until now. Let me get you started.

We have talked about my dress, my shoes, my jewelry, my hair, and my flowers. Me me me… and that’s it. Anyone starting to catch on?

Okay okay, I’ll just say it. I don’t have any bridesmaids. That’s right, none. Even though it’s my third trip down the aisle, it’s definitely not because I’ve worn my friends out. In my first wedding, I had just a maid of honor. In my second wedding, we got married by ourselves so there was no bridal party (and no guests!). So this, my third time around, would be the ideal time to live it up with my friends right? I mean, I guess that’s one way of looking at it.

And I did see it that way at first. Although I never intended to have a bridal party, I used to still get wistful over pictures like these.

That bottom right hand picture is one of my all time faves. Click for source.

And parasols! How sweet are these? Click for source.

But really, this is one time when being an encore makes a difference to me. Of the girls I would ask, I have stood in two of their weddings. One of them was my maid of honor lo those many years ago. And all of them have been my friends literally since I was 12 years old. But we are all in our (this is going to hurt) mid-ish thirties now (yep, ouch) and it’s not the same as it was ten years ago. And if my single pal were to take a trip down the aisle, that would be different too. But this isn’t my first rodeo and we’re all getting older. If it were my first and only wedding, I wouldn’t hesitate. But when one of these girls can actually say “Hey, I’ve never been to one of your weddings before.”… well, that just changes the story.

Am I being silly? Maybe. Am I going to change my mind? No.

I have chosen to embrace my reality. I don’t have to pay for flowers for my girls. I don’t have to worry about picking a dress, or dress guidelines. I don’t have to mess with a rehearsal. (I know, wedding blasphemy. But think about it. I don’t.) I don’t have to worry that every girl in every size is comfortable and feels beautiful. I don’t have to stress over finding the perfect bridesmaids gifts. I don’t have to explain that I don’t want anyone to plan a shower or a bachelorette party. I never have to utter the words “You can totally wear that again!”

Am I sad that my girls who have been my chosen family for so long will not be standing beside me? A little. Are they sad? I’m thinking not so much.

Are there any wedding basics that you are bypassing? If so, why?

The much awaited guestbook idea

Let’s finally get back to that guestbook idea I’ve been promising.

The bottom line with the fauxtobooth is that I can’t figure out a way to print on the spot. So there will be no fun favors for my guests and they will not be able to affix their faces to a giant book and write next to it. That was admittedly the original desire. But, you know, the rental thing didn’t fit in the budget so we are changing the plan to match our pocketbooks. And the new plan involves no photo printing and no giant book. So far we just have this:

The booth setup we have already discussed. A la Mrs. Pin Cushion. Click for source.

So, I bet you’re kind of wondering what it does entail? Well, ok. I’ve been stalling on purpose because I imagined this myself and I’m praying it is not stupid. I mean, it doesn’t seem stupid. But maybe it is, you know? Right, I’m stalling again.

So in addition to having their pictures taken, I will have a table near the fauxtobooth with blank slips of paper and something to place them in. I envision paper in different sizes, different shapes, and with different kinds of edges. Then people will write on the paper as if it were a guestbook and deposit their signed message into whatever receptacle I have there.  (I’d add a picture here but I have no clue what I’ll go for yet. A jar? A basket? A box? Something I haven’t yet envisioned? You have an idea?)

Yes, I recognize the *book* part is still missing. I’m about to tie it all together. After the wedding I will get prints of all of the fauxtobooth pictures. I will then pair them up with the signed messages. Then, wait for it, I will make a scrapbook (my new hobby is so totally wedding related!) of all of them combined. And we will have said scrapbook forever and ever. Hooray!

Since you’ve suffered through my insecurity and my probably not terrifically original idea (although I totally thought of it by myself), I offer you a gratuitous picture of my latest scrapbook layout. Because, as we have so definitively determined, it is sooooo wedding related.

I am in love with these pages. And can you see the pictures in there? Want to guess what they are? I promise it's a pretty easy one. 😉

So is this idea totally stupid? It’s really okay to tell me if it is. Really.

Scavenger Hunt!

Last we checked on it, my DIY list of projects was about 19 or 20 lines long. When I checked on it this weekend, I realized I’d left a few things off and made it 2 or 3 lines longer. Not much is crossed off of this list at all. So, knowing all of that what did I do this weekend?

Well, if you said I completed something and crossed it off the list, you’d be right. I mean sort of. I added it then I crossed it off. Hey, I have to get my satisfaction somewhere! I blame the lovely Mrs. Meerkat for posting this.

Of course, I promptly asked for the template, which she very promptly sent. Isn’t she nice? Yes, yes she is. But did I stop there? No, no I didn’t. The colors were already close enough to our wedding colors so I didnt touch those. But I just had to mat them up instead of leaving well enough alone.

Here is what I started with:

I started with the template all printed out, wedding colored card stock, my paper trimmer, and my corner rounder. Not pictured is my sticky tab dispenser, but I totally used that too.

Then I used the paper trimmer to crop out the template and the corner rounder to well, round the corners. This is what I had left.

Template, all trimmed and cropped.

Next I mounted the template onto orange card stock. (See? I totally used those sticky tabs.) I learned this lovely lesson through scrapbooking class. (Totally wedding related. I knew it!) I adhered the template in one corner of the card stock and eyeballed a border which I hoped was mostly even on two sides. To help you visualize, it looked like this:

If my borders aren't really even, just nod and smile. I'm not awesome enough to be a perfectionist so close enough is always good in my book.

Then I cropped the orange cardstock around the other two sides of the template and rounded those corners as well. Since I wanted to double mat in both of our wedding colors, I went for the pink card stock next. Again, I adhered the orange matted template into the upper left hand corner of the pink card stock in what I hoped was an even manner and cropped around the remaining two sides. One quick go round with the corner rounder and I had a final product like this:

Look at that final product in all of its double matted glory. Oooooh! Aaaaaah!

I made ten of these bad boys which should be more than enough to put one at each table in our reception. Half of them look exactly like the one pictured here, and the other half have the pink and orange reversed. Because it made me happy. The entire project took about an hour from the time I started printing the templates to the time I was totally done. There was extra time in there while I decided on how to mat and what would make me happiest. Then I gleefully added these to my DIY project list and crossed them off!

Did you add (and then finish) projects to your list instead of doing the things already on there? Or have you considered a photo scavenger hunt?

Thanks again to Mrs. Meerkat for the template. All photos in the post should be blamed on me.